Solving problems means making decisions. Step1 is about making a choice to accept that you have a problem. Finding alternative solutions the solve it is the job in Step3. Step4 is about narrowing down those identified, possible solutions into one that you can do within your means and limitations. Step5 is about making the decision to act on that final, chosen solution.
So decisions are essential to solve problems. But there mere thought of making a decision makes us cringe. Even if we need to make just ONE decision, we will look for ways to either avoid it or postpone it. Have we asked ourselves why? Why do we shy away from making choices?
The actual reason may vary but it all comes down to one thing. Fear. People are afraid of deliberating or making a decision on choices. One of the reasons we fear making a decision on choices is that the choice could be a painful one. Another reason is that we fear that the choice we make will cause more pain. It may solve the problem but not without costing us inconvenience or even worse, lead to more choices.
But does it really have to be a painful choice? It is painful because we think of it that way. Why is something that will solve your problem be painful? Isn't it supposed to bring positivity because it solves your problem? Think of this way: adjusting to the sunlight at dawn can hurt the eyes, but what a view!
In reality, we make decisions every day, all the time. Whether we want to go work today. What road do we take. What time should we go back (wait for traffic to clear or sit in the queue). It is when we assign a great value to the decision that is becomes significant. I am not saying that we should make decision without thinking. Consideration and deliberation should be done but proportionate to the consequences. In fact, if you can, please take a step back before making important decisions. Listen to everybody but make up your own mind. It costs nothing to make a decision but we have to pay for the consequences. There is where some of the pain comes from.
In martial arts, sparring is always the way to practice. An instructor explained to me that sparring isn't just about practicing the technique but also learning to take the blow. If we are used to taking the blow, when it happens to us in real life, it wouldn't be such a shock. Sparring is not just about perfecting the technique and training our muscles to respond in that certain way. It is also to dull our senses to the shock of a blow. So something that is painful can also bring something good/positive.
So what changed? Sparring did not become less painful. It has not become any less physical nor repetitive. It our perception of it. It was painful when we thought of it as being pummeled for no reason. It became less painful as we learn to accept that is was just part of the training. It became almost accepted when we realize that this skill is what will help us keep safe.
Ask yourself: what attribute needs to change to solve or contribute towards the solution? What will change the pain? If it involves another person or a group, what attribute or attitude must change to be part of the solution?
Focus on the goal and it may not have to be a painful choice.
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