Taking charge of how you feel

Start solving the problem you are facing with the right attitude and frame of mind. Start with the right feeling and you will have the energy and drive to solve your problem. You can even complete it without the 5Steps if your attitude is right. The 5Steps is a tool that you can use to identify what to do next or where to go from here. Bringing along the right frame of mind will help you get to the solution faster.
Most people feel really bad after something bad happens. When you come up to a roadblock that appears out of nowhere between you and what you want, you can feel deflated and frustrated. But you can change the way how you feel. I am not saying you shouldn't feel sad. In fact, crying over split milk can actually help.
Begin by trying to think about some problem you had in the past, something that happened at least a year or more ago. For example, you broke something. Think of how it felt just after you discovered you broke it. Why did you feel this way? Were you angry at yourself for breaking it? Did you feel sad because you couldn't do whatever it is you did with it now that it's broken? Did it belong to someone else? Did you feel ashamed or afraid about telling the owner that you broke it.

Now think about how you feel about it now. 

Do you feel the same now as you did then?Where is the sadness? What happened to the fear? You may be still feeling some guilt, but not as much as before.

Does it surprise you that you don't feel that way anymore? Remember, you are in charge of how you feel. That doesn't mean you don't feel anything. It also doesn't mean you cannot be affected by events or people around you. It does mean that although you feel sad, you can make yourself feel relieved or happy (or happier). It does mean that if you feel angry or upset, you can make yourself be calm and composed. You can choose to face a problem in a panic or take charge of how you feel. Taking charge of how you feel will lead you to taking charge of how you think.

Think about that problem you had in the past. In the past, you felt a certain way but now you feel better. If you knew then, what you know now, would you feel as sad or as angry or as upset you had.? Now, you are facing a problem. You have all sorts of negative emotions. Try and focus on how you would feel once you solved it. Think about how good you will feel once this is solved. Smile. That will be your new goal, to be happy once the problem is solved. Make reaching that happiness possible by solving the problem.

It is ok to feel negative emotions. It is part of the way you respond and makes up who you are. But come out and recover from those emotions. Take the energy that those emotions evoke and reuse them. Feel a deep loss about losing something? Take those emotions into and channel them into making or finding an even better replacement. Feel angry about being wronged by someone? Remember that feeling the next time the tables are turned and you have an opportunity to do the same to someone else. Are you going to do it or find some way that both of you can benefit?
Take charge of how you feel and take that first step. Admit that you are facing a problem.
Now take the next step.

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